1
00:00:12,265 --> 00:00:15,257
[CROWD CHEERING]
2
00:00:32,719 --> 00:00:35,711
[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]
3
00:00:58,111 --> 00:00:59,875
Goodbye, darling.
4
00:01:02,983 --> 00:01:04,314
SOLO:
Just one more, Mrs. Bryant.
5
00:01:05,652 --> 00:01:08,178
- Does your husband know?
- Certainly not, Mr. Solo.
6
00:01:08,355 --> 00:01:11,450
Besides, who's going to try to kidnap me
with you at my side? Get in.
7
00:01:11,625 --> 00:01:13,889
SOLO: As the wife
of the leading presidential candidate...
8
00:01:14,061 --> 00:01:16,029
...I could give you a list
from hereto Mendocino.
9
00:01:22,502 --> 00:01:25,164
Good morning. I'm sorry I'm late,
but I had to pack for the senator.
10
00:01:25,338 --> 00:01:27,102
Why, certainly, Mrs. Bryant.
11
00:01:27,274 --> 00:01:29,606
Monsieur Frangois is in Booth 10
waiting for you.
12
00:01:29,776 --> 00:01:31,335
Thank you.
13
00:01:31,645 --> 00:01:34,979
Uh, gentlemen are not allowed
beyond these portals, sir.
14
00:01:35,148 --> 00:01:37,776
Well, I'm no gentleman. I'm the press.
15
00:01:37,951 --> 00:01:40,181
And taking pictures of Mrs. Bryant?
16
00:01:40,353 --> 00:01:42,481
“A Day in the Life 01a Candidate's Wife,"
you know.
17
00:01:42,656 --> 00:01:43,748
Mm-hm.
18
00:01:48,361 --> 00:01:49,487
Monsieur Francois?
19
00:01:50,764 --> 00:01:53,995
Uh, there is a press photographer here
who came in with Mrs. Bryant.
20
00:01:54,167 --> 00:01:55,362
A Mister, uh...?
21
00:01:55,535 --> 00:01:57,833
Uh, Solo. Napoleon Solo.
22
00:01:58,371 --> 00:02:00,032
Solo.
23
00:02:00,207 --> 00:02:02,801
Taking pictures for a story
on Mrs. Bryant.
24
00:02:02,976 --> 00:02:04,569
Thank you.
25
00:02:05,078 --> 00:02:06,637
It will be quite all right, Mr. Solo.
26
00:02:06,813 --> 00:02:09,839
Only, in order not to make
our other customers self-conscious...
27
00:02:10,016 --> 00:02:11,575
...do you mind?
28
00:02:11,918 --> 00:02:15,582
Now, let's see if this is your size.
29
00:02:16,289 --> 00:02:18,553
- Mm-hm.
- Hmm.
30
00:02:20,293 --> 00:02:23,228
ETIENNE:
Good morning, madam. I am Etienne.
31
00:02:23,396 --> 00:02:25,364
Isn't Frangois taking care of me
this morning?
32
00:02:25,532 --> 00:02:27,796
He will be in presently, madam.
33
00:02:30,437 --> 00:02:31,598
[MIRANDA SIGHS]
34
00:02:33,740 --> 00:02:34,969
MIRANDA: Mm!
- Too warm, madam?
35
00:02:35,142 --> 00:02:36,632
MIRANDA:
Mm-hm.
36
00:02:36,810 --> 00:02:38,539
ETIENNE: But it is good for you.
MIRANDA: Oh.
37
00:02:38,712 --> 00:02:39,975
It cleanses the pores.
38
00:02:40,147 --> 00:02:42,138
MIRANDA:
But it's so hot.
39
00:02:43,817 --> 00:02:44,807
Oh.
40
00:02:51,224 --> 00:02:52,521
Are the towels too hot, madam?
41
00:02:52,692 --> 00:02:54,057
IRINA:
No, they're wonderful.
42
00:02:54,227 --> 00:02:56,958
In fact,
I feel like a different woman already.
43
00:02:57,130 --> 00:02:59,326
SIGNE: Exactly what we're trying
to achieve, madam.
44
00:02:59,499 --> 00:03:00,557
[IRINA GASPS]
45
00:03:01,768 --> 00:03:04,100
SIGNE:
To make you into a new woman.
46
00:04:04,464 --> 00:04:06,296
Good afternoon.
47
00:04:06,566 --> 00:04:07,965
WAVERLY:
Mr. Solo.
48
00:04:08,134 --> 00:04:10,569
It's exactly three hours,
eight and a halt minutes...
49
00:04:10,737 --> 00:04:12,262
...since you've contacted this office.
50
00:04:12,439 --> 00:04:13,736
So long? Well, I'm sorry, sir.
51
00:04:13,907 --> 00:04:16,035
Time passes so quickly
when you're in pleasant company.
52
00:04:16,209 --> 00:04:18,109
Such a charming woman, Mrs. Bryant.
53
00:04:18,278 --> 00:04:19,575
WAVERLY:
Exactly.
54
00:04:19,746 --> 00:04:22,875
And you were assigned, Mr. Solo,
to protect her from being kidnapped.
55
00:04:23,049 --> 00:04:25,313
Yes, I can assure you,
she's in the best of health.
56
00:04:25,485 --> 00:04:27,681
After her beauty appointment,
we had cocktails.
57
00:04:27,854 --> 00:04:30,551
I dropped her off at her hotel.
Delightful morning.
58
00:04:30,724 --> 00:04:34,285
Well, the trouble, Mr. Solo,
is that however delightful the lady may be...
59
00:04:34,461 --> 00:04:36,225
...she is not Mrs. Bryant.
60
00:04:37,897 --> 00:04:38,921
Say what?
61
00:04:44,804 --> 00:04:47,830
You are looking at an audiogram,
Napoleon.
62
00:04:48,008 --> 00:04:52,741
An exact electronic replica
of Mrs. Bryant's voice, taken from our files.
63
00:04:53,179 --> 00:04:56,012
In an effort to find you,
we just telephoned...
64
00:04:56,182 --> 00:04:59,948
...and spoke to the woman
calling herself Mrs. Bryant.
65
00:05:00,687 --> 00:05:03,952
This is that audiogram
taken 10 minutes ago.
66
00:05:04,124 --> 00:05:06,149
You notice anything?
67
00:05:06,326 --> 00:05:10,160
Well, they're not very much alike,
are they?
68
00:05:10,330 --> 00:05:11,923
WAVERLY:
They're not in the least alike.
69
00:05:12,098 --> 00:05:14,863
Mrs. Bryant has been kidnapped
and is now somewhere in the city...
70
00:05:15,035 --> 00:05:17,470
...in the hands of Thrush, thanks to you.
71
00:05:17,637 --> 00:05:19,662
That's impossible.
I mean, there must be some error.
72
00:05:19,839 --> 00:05:22,831
I never left her side
for more than a minute all morning.
73
00:05:23,009 --> 00:05:26,343
Well, a minute's quite enough.
Even 30 seconds, for that matter.
74
00:05:26,513 --> 00:05:28,038
No, I still don't believe it.
75
00:05:28,848 --> 00:05:30,282
See for yourself.
76
00:05:30,450 --> 00:05:33,317
I'm afraid this time, Napoleon,
they've put one over on you.
77
00:05:33,486 --> 00:05:34,920
Well, where could they have done it?
78
00:05:35,088 --> 00:05:38,820
I was photographing her all morning,
I didn't leave her side except...
79
00:05:39,793 --> 00:05:41,557
...once I...
80
00:05:42,762 --> 00:05:46,130
Well, to put on a little smock
at the beauty parlor.
81
00:05:46,633 --> 00:05:48,397
You must have looked divine.
82
00:05:48,568 --> 00:05:50,536
WAVERLY:
Well, that must have been it.
83
00:05:50,704 --> 00:05:53,730
Mr. Kuryakin,
they don't know you there as yet.
84
00:05:53,907 --> 00:05:56,933
Check out the place and the personnel.
85
00:05:57,210 --> 00:05:59,645
[DOOR OPENS]
86
00:05:59,813 --> 00:06:00,803
[DOOR CLOSES]
87
00:06:00,980 --> 00:06:04,245
Senator Bryant is leaving for Washington
in 45 minutes.
88
00:06:04,417 --> 00:06:06,886
I suggest you get to him on the double,
Mr. Solo.
89
00:06:07,053 --> 00:06:08,145
Does he know?
90
00:06:09,889 --> 00:06:11,254
That's why I want you to hurry.
91
00:06:11,424 --> 00:06:13,916
Well, what could I say to him, uh...?
92
00:06:14,094 --> 00:06:16,961
Well, I don't know the exact words...
93
00:06:17,130 --> 00:06:19,997
...but I think, surely, the senator
has a right to know that the woman...
94
00:06:20,166 --> 00:06:22,533
...who's kissing him goodbye
is not his wife.
95
00:06:23,036 --> 00:06:24,504
Oh...
96
00:06:26,439 --> 00:06:27,429
Yes, sir.
97
00:06:31,311 --> 00:06:32,608
MIRANDA:
Where am I?
98
00:06:33,079 --> 00:06:34,740
CAXTON:
My dear Mrs. Bryant, no harm will--
99
00:06:34,914 --> 00:06:36,439
What are you doing with me?
100
00:06:36,616 --> 00:06:38,744
Nothing to be alarmed about,
my dear lady.
101
00:06:40,086 --> 00:06:41,850
My husband, where's my husband?
102
00:06:42,021 --> 00:06:45,980
At the moment, enjoying the company
of a very charming young lady...
103
00:06:46,159 --> 00:06:50,892
...who has the good taste to be
an exact duplicate of yourself, Mrs. Bryant.
104
00:06:51,998 --> 00:06:53,523
A duplicate of me?
105
00:06:53,700 --> 00:06:55,464
A remarkable one.
106
00:06:55,635 --> 00:06:58,536
You see, we've been able to condition
the young lady...
107
00:06:58,705 --> 00:07:01,072
...so that she not only looks
like Miranda Bryant...
108
00:07:01,508 --> 00:07:04,569
...but is completely briefed
in every nuance of your life.
109
00:07:04,744 --> 00:07:09,648
Or at least as many nuances
as she'll require for the next 48 hours.
110
00:07:10,049 --> 00:07:12,177
And then we'll be able
to send you back...
111
00:07:12,352 --> 00:07:17,381
...suitably conditioned
to obey our slightest command.
112
00:07:19,392 --> 00:07:20,826
You monster.
113
00:07:22,095 --> 00:07:23,585
CAXTON:
Prepare the anesthetic, please.
114
00:07:23,763 --> 00:07:25,754
[MIRANDA GRUNTING]
115
00:07:41,681 --> 00:07:43,911
Great. We've got New Jersey
locked up now.
116
00:07:44,083 --> 00:07:46,051
We should get a few more
from upstate, huh?
117
00:07:46,219 --> 00:07:49,484
Go talk to the man. Nicely.
118
00:07:58,131 --> 00:08:00,099
Fairbanks, Senator Bryant?
I've got to see him.
119
00:08:00,266 --> 00:08:01,859
You and 200 others.
120
00:08:02,035 --> 00:08:03,935
He's on his way to the airport.
121
00:08:04,103 --> 00:08:07,630
Got an appointment in Washington
to see the president in four hours.
122
00:08:07,807 --> 00:08:08,865
He's left?
123
00:08:09,042 --> 00:08:12,444
We", almost.
He's in there saying goodbye to his wife.
124
00:08:13,379 --> 00:08:16,178
I, uh...
I wouldn't if I were you, young man.
125
00:08:16,349 --> 00:08:19,683
After all,
they're still practically newlyweds.
126
00:08:19,853 --> 00:08:22,413
I must see him before he leaves.
It's absolutely top priority.
127
00:08:22,589 --> 00:08:25,456
- It's personal and urgent.
- Hmm.
128
00:08:25,625 --> 00:08:28,617
- You're one of Waverly's men, huh?
- That's right.
129
00:08:31,097 --> 00:08:33,998
FAIRBANKS:
Excuse me. Excuse me, please.
130
00:08:35,635 --> 00:08:37,831
Excuse me, girls. Excuse me, please.
131
00:08:38,004 --> 00:08:39,130
It's all right, Joseph.
132
00:08:39,305 --> 00:08:41,171
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]
133
00:08:42,008 --> 00:08:44,136
Oh, excuse me.
134
00:08:46,045 --> 00:08:51,415
Mr. Solo, demon photographer is one thing,
peeping Torn quite another.
135
00:08:51,584 --> 00:08:53,814
Mr. Solo was my escort this morning,
darling.
136
00:08:53,987 --> 00:08:55,250
Oh, yes. Hello, Mr. Solo.
137
00:08:55,421 --> 00:08:57,412
Uh, hello, senator.
I-- I must speak to you.
138
00:08:57,590 --> 00:08:59,183
It's rather urgent.
139
00:08:59,359 --> 00:09:00,349
Well, go ahead.
140
00:09:00,527 --> 00:09:02,586
Well, it's also confidential. Uh...
141
00:09:03,062 --> 00:09:06,032
Mr. Fairbanks had better stay, but, uh...
142
00:09:06,199 --> 00:09:08,759
I have no secrets from my wife, Mr. Solo.
143
00:09:08,935 --> 00:09:11,529
It's all right, darling.
I'll wait for you outside.
144
00:09:18,678 --> 00:09:21,170
Great girl. Always understands.
145
00:09:21,347 --> 00:09:23,247
Are you married, Mr. Solo?
146
00:09:23,416 --> 00:09:25,384
SOLO:
Uh, no, I'm not.
147
00:09:25,852 --> 00:09:27,342
Nothing like it, believe me.
148
00:09:27,520 --> 00:09:29,420
I do, uh, senator.
149
00:09:29,589 --> 00:09:32,217
- Don't forget Charlie, huh?
- Charlie. Say, that's a good idea.
150
00:09:32,392 --> 00:09:34,019
- Read about him.
- Senator, senator, uh...
151
00:09:34,193 --> 00:09:36,958
Uh, Mr. Solo, I have about three minutes.
Now, what's on your mind?
152
00:09:37,130 --> 00:09:39,599
All right, uh, believe me,
what I am going to say now...
153
00:09:39,766 --> 00:09:41,393
...will not make a great deal of sense...
154
00:09:41,568 --> 00:09:44,799
...but, uh, the woman
that you were just kissing...?
155
00:09:46,406 --> 00:09:48,204
She's not your wife.
156
00:09:49,108 --> 00:09:50,598
What?
157
00:09:51,210 --> 00:09:53,702
I-- I don't believe I read you, sir.
158
00:09:53,880 --> 00:09:57,714
I-- I know she looks like your wife, senator,
and she acts like your wife...
159
00:09:57,884 --> 00:10:00,876
...and she sounds like your wife,
but she's not your wife.
160
00:10:01,421 --> 00:10:04,413
And no one wishes she were
more than I do. It's just that, uh...
161
00:10:05,491 --> 00:10:07,789
I know she's a very reasonable facsimile.
162
00:10:07,961 --> 00:10:09,122
Very, but...
163
00:10:09,295 --> 00:10:13,562
...she is not genuine box top.
164
00:10:14,701 --> 00:10:17,295
Do you know what he's talking about?
Am I crazy or is he crazy?
165
00:10:17,470 --> 00:10:20,440
FAIRBANKS: I don't know.
He is one of Waverly's men, but...
166
00:10:21,074 --> 00:10:22,769
Now, my wife is not my wife?
167
00:10:23,176 --> 00:10:26,111
Uh, no, she isn't.
The real Mrs. Bryant has been kidnapped.
168
00:10:26,613 --> 00:10:29,605
Mr. Solo, are you trying to tell me
that I don't know my own wife?
169
00:10:30,950 --> 00:10:33,146
- Well, let's find out.
- Uh, senator, believe me.
170
00:10:33,319 --> 00:10:37,085
Uh, someone has gone to a great deal
of trouble to make us think otherwise.
171
00:10:37,256 --> 00:10:40,317
The real Mrs. Bryant has been kidnapped.
172
00:10:40,493 --> 00:10:42,985
Now, uh, it you reveal
that we're on to them now...
173
00:10:43,162 --> 00:10:45,995
...I don't know what might happen to her,
the real Mrs. Bryant.
174
00:10:46,165 --> 00:10:48,293
All right, Arnold.
call the FBI, call the CIA.
175
00:10:48,468 --> 00:10:50,800
No, you mustn't, for the same reason.
176
00:10:50,970 --> 00:10:51,960
He's right, senator.
177
00:10:52,138 --> 00:10:55,836
Let's just...
Let's just wait a minute now.
178
00:10:56,009 --> 00:10:59,309
I'm as taken aback by this thing
as you are.
179
00:11:01,981 --> 00:11:04,507
I don't know that I believe it,
but whatever we do...
180
00:11:04,684 --> 00:11:06,174
...we've got to move carefully.
181
00:11:06,352 --> 00:11:09,583
There are 5000 people waiting out there
to nominate you...
182
00:11:09,756 --> 00:11:12,282
...as their candidate for president
the end of the week.
183
00:11:12,458 --> 00:11:14,586
Any kind of scandal
could tip this whole thing.
184
00:11:14,761 --> 00:11:16,627
Arnold, we're not talking politics now.
185
00:11:16,796 --> 00:11:18,764
We're talking about my wife,
do you understand?
186
00:11:18,931 --> 00:11:20,763
My wife and her safety.
187
00:11:20,933 --> 00:11:23,766
If what this man says is true,
even partially true--
188
00:11:23,936 --> 00:11:25,165
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]
189
00:11:27,240 --> 00:11:31,006
Excuse me, gentlemen.
Your car's ready, darling.
190
00:11:36,182 --> 00:11:37,172
BRYANT:
It's impossible.
191
00:11:37,617 --> 00:11:39,813
You mean that she isn't my wife?
192
00:11:41,254 --> 00:11:43,222
I'm afraid she isn't, senator.
193
00:11:47,493 --> 00:11:50,053
- What do you want me to do?
SOLO: Go to Washington.
194
00:11:50,229 --> 00:11:51,822
Just as if nothing has happened.
195
00:11:51,998 --> 00:11:55,559
When you come back,
we will have found Mrs. Bryant.
196
00:12:01,107 --> 00:12:02,666
All right.
197
00:12:05,311 --> 00:12:10,613
But if you're wrong about any of this,
if anything happens to my wife...
198
00:12:11,350 --> 00:12:15,446
...I'll not only have your job or any job
you ever hope to have, Mr. Solo...
199
00:12:15,621 --> 00:12:17,111
...but I'll take on U.N.C.L.E.
200
00:12:17,290 --> 00:12:19,816
- And when I'm finished--
- Yes.
201
00:12:19,992 --> 00:12:21,585
I understand, senator.
202
00:12:21,761 --> 00:12:23,320
Good.
203
00:12:41,848 --> 00:12:43,543
[CROWD CHEERING]
204
00:12:52,859 --> 00:12:55,658
You take good care of her, Mr. Solo.
Stay close.
205
00:12:55,828 --> 00:12:56,818
Every minute.
206
00:12:56,996 --> 00:12:59,431
And, darling, you're not to take
that kidnap threat seriously.
207
00:12:59,599 --> 00:13:01,397
I'm sure it's just one of those cranks.
208
00:13:01,968 --> 00:13:05,165
Well, you never know about cranks.
209
00:13:12,645 --> 00:13:14,773
You'll call me tonight?
210
00:13:14,947 --> 00:13:16,506
As soon as I can.
211
00:13:16,682 --> 00:13:18,673
Whatever the hour, I'll be awake.
212
00:13:18,851 --> 00:13:20,512
Let's go.
213
00:13:22,855 --> 00:13:25,586
[SIREN WAILING]
214
00:13:49,682 --> 00:13:51,548
Where are we going?
215
00:13:51,951 --> 00:13:54,181
Just for a ride.
216
00:13:55,054 --> 00:13:57,250
Don't you like the view?
217
00:13:58,191 --> 00:14:00,216
Mr. Solo, watching over me is one thing.
218
00:14:00,393 --> 00:14:03,829
Treating me like I'm a prisoner
is quite another.
219
00:14:05,731 --> 00:14:08,462
Why don't you stop pretending?
220
00:14:09,902 --> 00:14:11,734
What don't I what?
221
00:14:12,171 --> 00:14:15,038
Why don't you stop
your very clever impersonation...
222
00:14:15,208 --> 00:14:17,540
...of Mrs. Bryant?
223
00:14:18,744 --> 00:14:20,576
My what?
224
00:14:21,714 --> 00:14:23,648
Mr. Solo.
225
00:14:24,750 --> 00:14:27,447
We'll solve the puzzle in a minute or two.
226
00:14:27,620 --> 00:14:29,611
Take this, will you?
227
00:14:29,889 --> 00:14:31,550
Take what?
228
00:14:31,724 --> 00:14:34,785
It's concentrated truth serum
in tablet form.
229
00:14:35,127 --> 00:14:39,564
Now, I would rather that you would tell us
everything of your own volition, but...
230
00:14:39,732 --> 00:14:41,359
01 my--?
231
00:14:41,667 --> 00:14:43,465
Driver, stop this car and let me out.
232
00:14:43,636 --> 00:14:47,402
I'm sorry, madam.
that's quite impossible in this traffic.
233
00:14:48,441 --> 00:14:49,772
[DOOR HANDLE RATTLES]
234
00:14:51,143 --> 00:14:52,941
Mr. Solo, have you taken leave
of your senses?
235
00:14:53,112 --> 00:14:54,705
Stop this car and let me out.
236
00:14:54,881 --> 00:14:56,781
No, not until you tell me
who's behind you...
237
00:14:56,949 --> 00:15:00,510
...what they've done
with the senator's wife, and where she is.
238
00:15:00,753 --> 00:15:03,245
You've gone mad. You're absolutely mad.
239
00:15:03,422 --> 00:15:06,551
I would rather you would cooperate
of your own will, but if you won't.
240
00:15:06,726 --> 00:15:08,455
You'd better take the pill, madam...
241
00:15:08,628 --> 00:15:11,529
...or Napoleon will be forced
to hold your nose and make you take it.
242
00:15:11,697 --> 00:15:13,426
He wouldn't dare.
243
00:15:13,599 --> 00:15:14,589
Is that right?
244
00:15:14,767 --> 00:15:18,226
[WOMAN YELPING]
245
00:15:21,173 --> 00:15:22,197
[GASPS]
246
00:15:23,609 --> 00:15:29,446
Eight, seven, six, five, four.
three, two, one.
247
00:15:29,715 --> 00:15:30,773
Blast off.
248
00:15:30,950 --> 00:15:32,111
What's your name?
249
00:15:32,285 --> 00:15:33,912
Miranda Bryant.
250
00:15:34,086 --> 00:15:38,023
No, no, that's not right.
Before I was married, it was Miranda Field.
251
00:15:38,190 --> 00:15:41,057
In school, they called me Butch,
my mother called me Blinkums...
252
00:15:41,227 --> 00:15:43,195
...and my husband calls me
sweetie pie.
253
00:15:43,362 --> 00:15:45,626
Hmm, that's odd.
It's never worked like that before.
254
00:15:45,798 --> 00:15:47,527
Maybe her blood
has a high resistance factor.
255
00:15:47,700 --> 00:15:48,826
Give her another pill.
256
00:15:49,001 --> 00:15:50,628
Oh. Here.
257
00:15:51,470 --> 00:15:52,460
Thank you.
258
00:15:52,638 --> 00:15:54,265
There was a girl in Honduras.
259
00:15:54,774 --> 00:15:58,005
I had to give her three pills
before she'd tell her right age.
260
00:15:58,177 --> 00:15:59,508
Is that right?
261
00:15:59,679 --> 00:16:04,173
Seven, six, five, four.
three, two, one, blast off.
262
00:16:04,350 --> 00:16:05,442
Once more, what's your name?
263
00:16:05,618 --> 00:16:07,586
Miranda Bryant.
264
00:16:07,753 --> 00:16:10,222
Before I was married,
it was Miranda Field.
265
00:16:10,389 --> 00:16:12,619
When I was in school,
they called me Butch.
266
00:16:12,792 --> 00:16:14,692
- My mother called me--
- All right, that's enough.
267
00:16:14,860 --> 00:16:18,125
- Butch I know about.
- You better try another tack.
268
00:16:18,331 --> 00:16:20,629
Where did you first meet the senator,
madam?
269
00:16:22,401 --> 00:16:24,927
I met him in Arnold Fairbanks' office.
270
00:16:25,104 --> 00:16:28,802
I was working as a volunteer
on his last campaign.
271
00:16:29,141 --> 00:16:31,337
Do you love your husband?
272
00:16:31,510 --> 00:16:33,137
Madly.
273
00:16:33,512 --> 00:16:35,503
[YAWNING]
274
00:16:36,582 --> 00:16:38,016
Why are you yawning then?
275
00:16:38,684 --> 00:16:40,652
Does the idea of your husband have you?
276
00:16:40,820 --> 00:16:43,915
Oh, no, no, no.
My husband's the most marvel--
277
00:16:44,090 --> 00:16:45,080
Excuse me.
278
00:16:45,257 --> 00:16:47,521
[YAWNING]
279
00:16:47,693 --> 00:16:49,627
He's the most marvelous man
in the world.
280
00:16:49,795 --> 00:16:52,730
I beg your pardon, but all of a sudden,
I'm very sleepy.
281
00:16:52,898 --> 00:16:55,629
- Wonderful.
- Sleepy? Now?
282
00:16:55,801 --> 00:16:57,360
She can't be. She's not supposed to be.
283
00:16:57,536 --> 00:16:58,594
- No, no.
- Wake her up.
284
00:16:58,771 --> 00:17:00,034
Wake up. Wake up. Don't do that.
285
00:17:00,206 --> 00:17:03,176
- You know something? You're very nice.
- Stay awake.
286
00:17:03,342 --> 00:17:05,140
- Come on now.
- You're very nice.
287
00:17:05,311 --> 00:17:07,439
I think I could rather like you.
288
00:17:07,613 --> 00:17:09,547
- Don't. Stop that now. Sit up.
- This is soft.
289
00:17:09,715 --> 00:17:12,343
- Keep your eyes open.
- Napoleon, really.
290
00:17:12,518 --> 00:17:14,077
Don't you ever tum it off?
291
00:17:14,253 --> 00:17:16,551
Well, it's not my fault.
292
00:17:16,722 --> 00:17:19,020
When you've got it, you've got it.
293
00:17:19,392 --> 00:17:21,121
I've got it.
294
00:17:35,374 --> 00:17:37,138
Miranda?
295
00:17:39,211 --> 00:17:40,906
Ethel?
296
00:17:41,113 --> 00:17:42,103
Jean?
297
00:17:42,281 --> 00:17:43,680
Pat?
298
00:17:44,383 --> 00:17:45,942
Eunice?
299
00:17:47,620 --> 00:17:49,384
Miss Doe?
300
00:17:51,924 --> 00:17:52,914
Strange.
301
00:17:53,092 --> 00:17:55,083
[RADIO BEEPING]
302
00:17:56,562 --> 00:17:57,552
Yes?
303
00:17:58,631 --> 00:17:59,792
It is I.
304
00:17:59,965 --> 00:18:01,558
How's the sleeping beauty?
305
00:18:01,734 --> 00:18:03,065
Well, still sleeping.
306
00:18:03,235 --> 00:18:05,602
It's been three hours now.
307
00:18:05,771 --> 00:18:08,331
You Prince Charmings are all alike.
308
00:18:08,507 --> 00:18:11,875
I've always told you that one day,
your devastating charm would backfire.
309
00:18:12,044 --> 00:18:15,503
Well, there's a first time for everything.
What did you dig up at Frangois?
310
00:18:15,681 --> 00:18:16,944
Nothing so far.
311
00:18:17,116 --> 00:18:19,813
I blew all the circuits
and flushed the old deals in hair curlers...
312
00:18:19,985 --> 00:18:22,920
...into the street,
but I couldn't find anything.
313
00:18:23,322 --> 00:18:25,950
Are you sure
that's where the switch took place?
314
00:18:26,125 --> 00:18:28,389
If it did happen,
it couldn't have been anywhere else.
315
00:18:28,561 --> 00:18:31,553
What do you mean, “If it did happen“?
You having doubts?
316
00:18:31,730 --> 00:18:34,290
You heard her this afternoon.
She never fumbled an answer once.
317
00:18:34,467 --> 00:18:37,698
Well, she could have been programmed
into believing she's Miranda Bryant.
318
00:18:37,870 --> 00:18:39,031
That might be.
319
00:18:39,205 --> 00:18:42,800
Tell you what, I'll have another go
at Madame X here.
320
00:18:42,975 --> 00:18:45,103
You take another crack
at the beauty salon, all right?
321
00:18:45,277 --> 00:18:49,111
All right, but it will have to be
after the shop closes.
322
00:18:49,281 --> 00:18:50,715
Hey, that's breaking and entering.
323
00:18:50,883 --> 00:18:52,578
SOLO [OVER RADIO]:
That's what you do best.
324
00:18:52,751 --> 00:18:56,415
- What did you say?
- I said, “That's what you do best.“
325
00:19:12,138 --> 00:19:15,631
[AIR DUCT OPENS THEN CLOSES]
326
00:19:32,925 --> 00:19:34,893
SOLO: Come on, up. Get up. Get up.
IRINA: Mm. Unh.
327
00:19:35,060 --> 00:19:36,619
SOLO: Come on, walk.
IRINA: Unh, unh.
328
00:19:36,795 --> 00:19:40,231
Walk, come on. Walk, walk, walk.
Walk, walk, walk.
329
00:19:40,399 --> 00:19:42,458
- Good. Get on your feet. Come on, walk.
IRINA: Unh.
330
00:19:42,635 --> 00:19:45,627
Now, all right now, hold on.
I want you to drink some coffee.
331
00:19:45,804 --> 00:19:46,930
Hold on. Hold on now.
332
00:19:47,106 --> 00:19:48,540
Oh!
333
00:19:49,141 --> 00:19:50,836
[SOLO GROANING]
334
00:19:51,010 --> 00:19:53,172
All right, now drink some of this.
335
00:19:53,345 --> 00:19:55,939
- Here. Come on, drink, drink, drink.
- No, I don't want any coffee.
336
00:19:56,115 --> 00:19:59,244
- Drink, drink, drink up. Drink some of this.
- I don't like coffee.
337
00:19:59,418 --> 00:20:00,544
Drink it.
338
00:20:00,719 --> 00:20:02,050
- That's good, all right.
- Ugh.
339
00:20:02,221 --> 00:20:04,246
Now, walk around.
You slept too long as it is.
340
00:20:04,423 --> 00:20:05,857
Come on now, walk.
341
00:20:06,025 --> 00:20:09,222
- Don't make me drag you. Walk around.
IRINA: I don't wanna. Stop. Ha-ha-ha.
342
00:20:09,395 --> 00:20:11,830
- There's nothing funny. Come on, now.
IRINA: Ha-ha-ha!
343
00:20:11,997 --> 00:20:13,192
Up. Drink some more coffee.
344
00:20:13,365 --> 00:20:15,766
IRINA: I don't want any more coffee.
- Get up, get up, get up.
345
00:20:15,935 --> 00:20:20,338
Here, drink some more. Good, good.
Good coffee. Warm, good. Mm, yeah.
346
00:20:20,506 --> 00:20:22,634
- Like that? Now we take another walk.
- I don't like it.
347
00:20:22,808 --> 00:20:25,505
- I don't like this. I want to sleep.
- You slept too long. Walk again.
348
00:20:25,678 --> 00:20:29,342
SOLO: You walk. Good? All right.
IRINA: Okay, I walk.
349
00:20:29,515 --> 00:20:31,074
SOLO: Oh! Unh. Come on.
IRINA: Ha-ha-ha!
350
00:20:31,250 --> 00:20:32,240
Up!
351
00:20:32,418 --> 00:20:34,284
[BOTH PANTING]
352
00:20:34,453 --> 00:20:38,014
Ooh! Those lights are so bright.
Would you shut the light 0”, please?
353
00:20:38,190 --> 00:20:39,783
- Light?
- Yes.
354
00:20:39,959 --> 00:20:42,223
Unh. All right.
355
00:20:42,394 --> 00:20:43,384
[IRINA GIGGLING]
356
00:20:43,562 --> 00:20:45,052
Come on, now.
357
00:20:45,231 --> 00:20:47,063
Get up. Come on, up, up.
358
00:20:47,233 --> 00:20:50,362
- I don't want to. No.
- Go in the bathroom, wash your face.
359
00:20:50,536 --> 00:20:52,971
Come on, walk. You've gotta walk.
360
00:20:53,138 --> 00:20:55,505
- Come on, walk. Walk, walk.
- I have to walk. I lost my shoe.
361
00:20:55,674 --> 00:20:56,766
- Walk.
- I lost--
362
00:21:13,859 --> 00:21:15,850
[SIGHS THEN GROANS]
363
00:21:21,967 --> 00:21:23,059
[GRUNTS]
364
00:21:44,757 --> 00:21:46,156
[BOTH GRUNTING]
365
00:21:59,305 --> 00:22:00,795
[MAN PUNCHING SOLO'S HAND]
366
00:22:12,918 --> 00:22:14,511
[MAN SCREAMS]
367
00:22:23,329 --> 00:22:26,321
[CAR HORNS HONKING]
368
00:22:41,580 --> 00:22:43,548
Thank you.
369
00:22:44,016 --> 00:22:45,177
Where did you learn judo?
370
00:22:46,151 --> 00:22:47,380
What?
371
00:22:47,553 --> 00:22:50,045
That was the greatest demonstration.
372
00:22:50,222 --> 00:22:51,986
Who taught you?
373
00:22:52,424 --> 00:22:54,859
- Taught me what?
- Judo.
374
00:22:57,029 --> 00:22:58,622
Well, I...
375
00:22:59,365 --> 00:23:00,355
I saw you...
376
00:23:00,532 --> 00:23:01,966
[BOTH PANTING]
377
00:23:02,134 --> 00:23:06,264
- Well, he was after you, and I just--
- Don't apologize. You did the right thing.
378
00:23:07,106 --> 00:23:09,507
- He was gonna kill you.
- Ha, ha. He was indeed.
379
00:23:09,675 --> 00:23:11,439
Why?
380
00:23:11,643 --> 00:23:14,544
I'm not sure I know the answer anymore.
381
00:23:15,681 --> 00:23:19,584
My dear, I don't know who you are
or what you are...
382
00:23:20,252 --> 00:23:23,779
...but, uh, anyone who saves my life
the way you did...
383
00:23:23,956 --> 00:23:26,516
Whatever happens, I want you to know
that I'm on your side.
384
00:23:29,161 --> 00:23:30,856
But I thought you always were.
385
00:23:43,208 --> 00:23:46,200
She'll be regaining consciousness
any moment, I think.
386
00:23:46,378 --> 00:23:49,245
- The anesthetic is wearing off nicely.
- Good.
387
00:24:16,708 --> 00:24:17,698
[ALARM BEEPING]
388
00:24:17,876 --> 00:24:19,537
Someone's upstairs.
389
00:24:28,153 --> 00:24:31,487
It's that man who was here this afternoon
when the power blew out.
390
00:24:31,657 --> 00:24:33,216
Is it, now?
391
00:24:34,460 --> 00:24:36,292
How very interesting.
392
00:24:36,462 --> 00:24:39,454
Etienne. But be gentle.
393
00:24:40,032 --> 00:24:42,364
We may have some use for him.
394
00:25:13,866 --> 00:25:14,924
[GRUNTS]
395
00:25:44,596 --> 00:25:46,997
U.N.C.L.E.'s adventures in Wonderland.
396
00:25:47,165 --> 00:25:48,223
[CAXTON GIGGLES]
397
00:25:48,800 --> 00:25:52,031
Except in this version, young man,
you are the White Rabbit.
398
00:25:52,504 --> 00:25:55,474
CAXTON: Or should I say,
“You're our new guinea pig“?
399
00:25:56,074 --> 00:25:58,668
"0 flab/nus day! Cal/aah! Cal/av!"
400
00:25:58,844 --> 00:26:00,369
[CAXTON CHUCKLES]
401
00:26:00,546 --> 00:26:02,742
Just when things were getting dull too.
402
00:26:25,771 --> 00:26:28,763
[CROWD CHEERING]
403
00:26:37,182 --> 00:26:38,172
Delaware's okay...
404
00:26:38,350 --> 00:26:40,819
...but I'm having a little trouble
with the Oregon delegation.
405
00:26:40,986 --> 00:26:43,683
- What's the matter with them?
- That's the problem. I can't find them.
406
00:26:43,855 --> 00:26:45,619
They're all out having dinner
in Chinatown.
407
00:26:45,791 --> 00:26:47,350
Have some of the boys round them up.
408
00:26:47,526 --> 00:26:49,961
Enough people hanging around here
with nothing to do.
409
00:26:50,128 --> 00:26:51,186
Mr. Fairbanks...
410
00:26:51,363 --> 00:26:54,060
...do your know how many restaurants
there are in Chinatown?
411
00:26:54,232 --> 00:26:56,701
Have one of the boys count them
as they go.
412
00:26:57,169 --> 00:27:00,901
The information will come in handy
during a primary some day.
413
00:27:24,329 --> 00:27:26,058
You're very silent.
414
00:27:26,231 --> 00:27:27,630
Hmm?
415
00:27:28,834 --> 00:27:32,498
You look like the little girl who's just about
to have her knuckles rapped...
416
00:27:32,671 --> 00:27:35,106
...by the headmistress of...
417
00:27:35,807 --> 00:27:38,242
What was that academy you went to?
418
00:27:38,410 --> 00:27:40,708
- Marbury.
- Mm-hm.
419
00:27:40,879 --> 00:27:44,372
Mr. Solo,
must you always ask questions?
420
00:27:44,549 --> 00:27:47,883
Well, it's a professional liability.
421
00:27:48,053 --> 00:27:49,817
You'll get used to it.
422
00:27:49,988 --> 00:27:52,389
That's what I'm afraid of.
423
00:27:53,992 --> 00:27:55,289
What's the matter?
424
00:27:55,661 --> 00:28:00,121
You, and everything that's happened.
425
00:28:01,466 --> 00:28:03,127
I don't know why.
426
00:28:03,301 --> 00:28:07,499
Saving a gentleman's life
is generally considered a meritorious action.
427
00:28:07,673 --> 00:28:12,304
If word leaks out, you may become
Brownie to an Eagle Scout overnight.
428
00:28:12,477 --> 00:28:16,209
But word mustn't leak out
about anything that's happened today.
429
00:28:16,381 --> 00:28:20,648
I love my husband, I do.
Very, very much.
430
00:28:21,753 --> 00:28:26,384
That's why I can't understand why
when I'm with you, it makes...
431
00:28:28,527 --> 00:28:29,517
[IRINA SCOFFS]
432
00:28:29,695 --> 00:28:32,630
I'm really very confused.
433
00:28:33,231 --> 00:28:36,223
Not half as confused as I am.
434
00:28:41,473 --> 00:28:44,465
[CROWD APPLAUDING]
435
00:28:47,879 --> 00:28:49,506
Mrs. Bryant, what a pleasant surprise.
436
00:28:49,681 --> 00:28:51,877
Get Mrs. Bryant a cup of coffee
and a place to sit down.
437
00:28:52,050 --> 00:28:53,609
- I've gotta see Fairbanks.
- He's inside.
438
00:28:53,785 --> 00:28:55,879
- Thank you.
- Be my pleasure, Mrs. Bryant.
439
00:28:56,054 --> 00:28:57,146
Right over here.
440
00:28:57,322 --> 00:28:59,586
Plenty more room on the bandwagon.
441
00:28:59,758 --> 00:29:01,226
Right.
442
00:29:03,662 --> 00:29:06,461
What are you doing back here?
Something happened?
443
00:29:06,631 --> 00:29:09,532
Something's happened. Among other things,
I got a call from the senator.
444
00:29:09,701 --> 00:29:10,725
Bryant?
- Yes, Bryant.
445
00:29:10,902 --> 00:29:12,927
He's been trying to reach you
all over town.
446
00:29:13,105 --> 00:29:14,971
He wants you to meet him
at the airport tonight.
447
00:29:15,140 --> 00:29:18,838
- Tonight? Ha, ha. You mean tomorrow.
- No, he's flying back tonight.
448
00:29:19,177 --> 00:29:20,975
No, he can't.
449
00:29:21,413 --> 00:29:25,611
He can't come back tonight.
He can't do this to me.
450
00:29:26,218 --> 00:29:28,550
If he were to come back here now...
451
00:29:31,423 --> 00:29:34,222
Gloria, get me Senator Bryant.
452
00:29:34,593 --> 00:29:36,618
I know he's in Washington.
453
00:29:37,963 --> 00:29:40,398
You've a fascinating head, Mr. Kuryakin.
454
00:29:40,565 --> 00:29:41,794
Truly fascinating.
455
00:29:41,967 --> 00:29:44,993
But so much more fascinating
when I've finished with it.
456
00:29:45,170 --> 00:29:46,660
You wait.
457
00:29:46,838 --> 00:29:48,499
You don't have to convince me
of your work.
458
00:29:48,673 --> 00:29:51,335
That second Mrs. Bryant
is a remarkable job.
459
00:29:51,510 --> 00:29:54,036
She manages to play the senator's wife
even when she's loaded...
460
00:29:54,212 --> 00:29:56,340
...with our most effective truth pills.
461
00:29:56,515 --> 00:29:58,040
Ah, that's the beauty of my method.
462
00:29:58,216 --> 00:30:02,084
She's not playing a pan.
She really believes she is Miranda Bryant.
463
00:30:02,254 --> 00:30:06,589
Oh, won't two Miranda Bryants
be crowding the senator a bit?
464
00:30:06,758 --> 00:30:08,522
Oh, no. No, not at all.
465
00:30:08,693 --> 00:30:12,129
A simple injection of this,
uh, triexel phermate...
466
00:30:12,297 --> 00:30:14,356
...and the young girl reverts
to her own personality.
467
00:30:14,533 --> 00:30:18,197
It's all very simple, really.
468
00:30:18,603 --> 00:30:20,002
Very clever too.
469
00:30:20,172 --> 00:30:22,368
Programming the future president
of the United States...
470
00:30:22,541 --> 00:30:24,066
...might be a little awkward.
471
00:30:24,242 --> 00:30:27,576
But who'd ever suspect
that it's all done with, uh...
472
00:30:28,313 --> 00:30:29,405
...pillow talk.
473
00:30:30,115 --> 00:30:31,981
[CAXTON CHUCKLES]
474
00:30:32,150 --> 00:30:35,176
You're a very perceptive young man.
475
00:30:36,488 --> 00:30:38,616
He knows if he so much
as shows his face around here...
476
00:30:38,790 --> 00:30:42,249
...before we have the delegates
in our pockets, we could lose everything.
477
00:30:42,794 --> 00:30:44,421
Oh, no.
478
00:30:44,596 --> 00:30:47,964
No, I've worked too hard and too long
to get that boy into this position.
479
00:30:48,133 --> 00:30:49,658
What?
480
00:30:50,802 --> 00:30:52,702
Yes, I see.
481
00:30:55,607 --> 00:30:57,268
[TELEPHONE SLAMS]
482
00:31:02,080 --> 00:31:04,242
Well, he's left, all right.
483
00:31:06,785 --> 00:31:09,220
Almost in the White House...
484
00:31:11,256 --> 00:31:12,917
...and now he's, um...
485
00:31:13,091 --> 00:31:16,288
He's imperiling everything
we've worked for...
486
00:31:16,461 --> 00:31:22,230
...slaved for, lived for for 10 years,
and all because of her.
487
00:31:22,400 --> 00:31:25,028
Well, you can't blame a man
for worrying about his wife.
488
00:31:25,203 --> 00:31:26,728
That marriage.
489
00:31:28,273 --> 00:31:32,176
Here was a man who could have married
any woman in the country.
490
00:31:32,344 --> 00:31:37,009
And he picks some little ninny
that he meets by chance at my house.
491
00:31:37,182 --> 00:31:39,150
In my own house.
492
00:31:40,085 --> 00:31:42,884
Sorting campaign literature.
493
00:31:43,054 --> 00:31:46,547
Running the coffee machine
for the volunteers.
494
00:31:47,659 --> 00:31:50,560
Where's the girl?
What have you done with her?
495
00:31:50,729 --> 00:31:53,027
You were told not to take your eyes off her
for an instant.
496
00:31:53,198 --> 00:31:55,166
I haven't. She's outside
with your number-one boy.
497
00:31:55,333 --> 00:31:58,359
He'll take care of her.
That's why I'm here.
498
00:31:58,637 --> 00:32:04,007
I have run into some, uh, let's say.
contradictions about Mrs. Bryant.
499
00:32:04,175 --> 00:32:06,371
Contradictions?
- Mm-hm.
500
00:32:07,612 --> 00:32:10,138
What do you mean, “contradictions“?
501
00:32:11,016 --> 00:32:13,144
You're not trying to tell me
that after all this...
502
00:32:13,318 --> 00:32:16,015
...you boys are starting
to reverse yourselves, are you?
503
00:32:16,187 --> 00:32:19,452
Uh, don't anticipate things, Fairbanks.
It's not that simple.
504
00:32:19,624 --> 00:32:22,389
If you've put us through all this
for nothing...
505
00:32:22,560 --> 00:32:26,155
...called back the senator,
maybe cost us the election...
506
00:32:26,331 --> 00:32:29,665
...and all the time,
this is the real Miranda Bryant.
507
00:32:29,834 --> 00:32:31,700
I didn't say that.
There are just some things...
508
00:32:31,870 --> 00:32:34,339
...that I don't understand.
They don't add up, not clear.
509
00:32:34,506 --> 00:32:36,338
I wanna put her to a test.
You gave me an idea.
510
00:32:36,508 --> 00:32:38,533
- Give me the keys to your house.
- My house?
511
00:32:38,710 --> 00:32:41,372
Yes, you said she met the senator
working there on some campaign?
512
00:32:41,546 --> 00:32:44,481
If she's the real Mrs. Bryant, she'll know
her way around the place, right?
513
00:32:44,649 --> 00:32:45,639
I suppose so.
514
00:32:45,817 --> 00:32:48,411
If she's not the real Mrs. Bryant,
she won't.
515
00:32:48,586 --> 00:32:50,384
Because though they may have
programmed her...
516
00:32:50,555 --> 00:32:53,081
...in regard to dates and places,
she won't know, for instance...
517
00:32:53,258 --> 00:32:57,320
...where the, uh, secretary keeps
the instant coffee.
518
00:32:59,197 --> 00:33:00,460
[FAIRBANKS SIGHS]
519
00:33:00,632 --> 00:33:03,294
I think you're wasting
a lot of precious time, Solo.
520
00:33:03,468 --> 00:33:05,232
But if you insist...
521
00:33:05,403 --> 00:33:06,928
do.
522
00:33:08,440 --> 00:33:10,704
[TELEPHONE RINGS]
523
00:33:12,410 --> 00:33:13,900
Yes?
524
00:33:14,579 --> 00:33:17,139
I told you I must have 48 hours.
525
00:33:17,315 --> 00:33:19,647
But you can't move her now,
that's impossible.
526
00:33:19,818 --> 00:33:21,786
I don't know what she'll do or say.
527
00:33:22,721 --> 00:33:24,416
But I won't--
528
00:33:27,058 --> 00:33:29,720
Yes. Yes, I understand.
529
00:33:29,894 --> 00:33:32,625
All right, all right.
530
00:33:32,964 --> 00:33:34,830
Signe, Etienne.
remove him from the table.
531
00:33:35,000 --> 00:33:37,697
We've got to get the woman ready
in an hour.
532
00:33:57,956 --> 00:34:01,517
What on earth are we doing here?
Arnold's at the convention.
533
00:34:01,826 --> 00:34:03,055
So you know the place?
534
00:34:03,228 --> 00:34:07,290
Yes, I worked here as a volunteer.
That's how I met Steve.
535
00:34:07,465 --> 00:34:09,229
Yes, Fairbanks told me.
536
00:34:09,401 --> 00:34:13,463
Well, since you know the place,
you lead the way, all right?
537
00:34:15,607 --> 00:34:17,701
Fairbanks gave me the key.
538
00:34:43,201 --> 00:34:45,670
Bring back sentimental memories?
539
00:34:50,642 --> 00:34:53,339
Napoleon, please don't be unkind to me.
540
00:35:03,588 --> 00:35:05,920
Atavistic old place.
541
00:35:06,925 --> 00:35:12,386
I suppose it's a throwback to the days
of ward heelers and brass spittoons.
542
00:35:19,971 --> 00:35:21,769
Why'd you bring me here?
543
00:35:21,940 --> 00:35:23,271
[SOLO SCOFFS]
544
00:35:23,441 --> 00:35:25,500
Excellent question.
545
00:35:26,344 --> 00:35:29,109
Why, indeed?
546
00:35:29,647 --> 00:35:33,049
An impulse? An inspiration?
547
00:35:33,518 --> 00:35:35,452
A suspicion?
548
00:35:36,821 --> 00:35:38,789
Prescience?
549
00:35:38,957 --> 00:35:43,019
Or just, perhaps, to be alone with you?
550
00:35:44,929 --> 00:35:48,456
We haven't got much longer to be alone,
have we?
551
00:35:48,633 --> 00:35:50,123
No.
552
00:35:51,136 --> 00:35:53,195
Why am I here?
553
00:35:54,973 --> 00:35:57,374
Because something is happening.
554
00:35:59,010 --> 00:36:01,479
You're as aware of it as I am.
555
00:36:02,514 --> 00:36:04,039
Hmm?
556
00:36:08,052 --> 00:36:10,612
And something else is happening too.
557
00:36:11,022 --> 00:36:17,155
Kidnap threats, strange disappearances,
even stranger appearances.
558
00:36:17,328 --> 00:36:19,160
After today.
you should be aware of the fact...
559
00:36:19,330 --> 00:36:21,196
...that you're involved
in some diabolical plot.
560
00:36:21,366 --> 00:36:26,133
Either someone is trying,
among other things, to ruin your marriage.
561
00:36:26,304 --> 00:36:29,001
_Or__
- Who would do a thing like that?
562
00:36:30,375 --> 00:36:32,139
Many people.
563
00:36:32,310 --> 00:36:35,678
Political enemies, for instance.
564
00:36:35,847 --> 00:36:38,043
Political friends.
565
00:36:38,716 --> 00:36:40,480
Arnold Fairbanks, for instance.
566
00:36:40,652 --> 00:36:41,983
Arnold?
567
00:36:42,153 --> 00:36:44,747
Arnold's our best friend.
568
00:36:45,056 --> 00:36:47,582
He's your husband's best friend.
569
00:36:48,826 --> 00:36:50,920
There's a difference.
570
00:36:54,299 --> 00:36:56,563
And he's let it be known
he wasn't exactly thrilled...
571
00:36:56,734 --> 00:36:58,828
...about your marriage, you know.
572
00:37:00,205 --> 00:37:02,071
I don't believe that.
573
00:37:02,240 --> 00:37:05,335
Fairbanks is ambitious
for your husband...
574
00:37:05,510 --> 00:37:09,674
...like Caesar and Caesar's wife.
575
00:37:09,847 --> 00:37:14,045
The question is, this time,
who is above suspicion?
576
00:37:16,221 --> 00:37:19,384
Where does Fairbanks
keep his confidential files?
577
00:37:19,557 --> 00:37:21,116
Well, how should I know?
578
00:37:21,292 --> 00:37:25,627
You labored here in the senator's vineyards
and won all hearts.
579
00:37:25,797 --> 00:37:27,196
We're all volunteer workers.
580
00:37:27,365 --> 00:37:29,857
We didn't have access
to anything confidential.
581
00:37:30,034 --> 00:37:33,197
You still must have some idea
where things were located.
582
00:37:33,371 --> 00:37:36,932
Even Bluebeard told his wives
where not to go.
583
00:37:38,209 --> 00:37:41,474
Mr. Solo, yours is a strange world.
584
00:37:41,646 --> 00:37:45,514
Living with all this deceit and violence
has done something to you.
585
00:37:46,484 --> 00:37:49,545
You're right.
It's taught me to trust no one.
586
00:37:49,721 --> 00:37:51,018
[DRAWER CLOSES]
587
00:37:51,656 --> 00:37:53,886
Not even myself.
588
00:37:55,393 --> 00:37:57,919
Especially with you.
589
00:38:05,236 --> 00:38:07,466
What do you know about this place?
590
00:38:08,006 --> 00:38:09,235
Try to remember something.
591
00:38:09,407 --> 00:38:11,341
I remember nothing.
592
00:38:11,509 --> 00:38:14,968
I mean, whatever I knew about this place,
I have long since forgotten.
593
00:38:15,146 --> 00:38:17,376
Don't give up so easily. Try, think hard.
594
00:38:17,548 --> 00:38:19,710
No, please, just take me out of here.
595
00:38:20,118 --> 00:38:21,279
I don't like any of this.
596
00:38:21,452 --> 00:38:24,717
I don't like that drug you gave me.
Nothing's clear anymore.
597
00:38:24,889 --> 00:38:28,655
I don't know what it's made me say
or do or feel.
598
00:38:29,327 --> 00:38:32,058
Nothing about the office?
Nothing about the files?
599
00:38:32,597 --> 00:38:34,588
No, nothing.
600
00:38:39,237 --> 00:38:40,500
I'm sorry.
601
00:38:42,940 --> 00:38:45,739
I had to do it. I had to make sure.
602
00:38:47,779 --> 00:38:49,508
For both of us.
603
00:38:55,820 --> 00:38:57,219
You're not her.
604
00:38:59,957 --> 00:39:02,085
- Who are you?
-[WHISPERS] Napoleon.
605
00:39:03,761 --> 00:39:06,753
[ALL GRUNTING]
606
00:39:30,555 --> 00:39:31,920
Are you all right?
607
00:39:32,090 --> 00:39:33,489
Hair dye?
608
00:39:33,658 --> 00:39:36,650
Does Arnold dye his hair too?
609
00:39:56,147 --> 00:39:57,546
They got away.
610
00:39:57,715 --> 00:39:59,843
I was afraid something like this
might happen.
611
00:40:00,017 --> 00:40:01,007
Mm-hm.
612
00:40:01,185 --> 00:40:03,415
Uh, here's something of yours, Fairbanks.
613
00:40:05,089 --> 00:40:07,615
All right, drop the gun.
How convenient of you and Mrs. Bryant...
614
00:40:07,792 --> 00:40:10,853
...to patronize the same beauty salon.
615
00:40:11,028 --> 00:40:14,589
Sometimes the long arm of serendipity
outsmarts us all.
616
00:40:15,400 --> 00:40:18,700
Too bad, it was a great try.
617
00:40:18,870 --> 00:40:21,601
I wouldn't, Mr. Solo.
618
00:40:23,775 --> 00:40:28,110
If there's one thing I've learned in politics,
it's never count your ballots...
619
00:40:28,279 --> 00:40:30,373
...before the returns are in.
620
00:40:33,951 --> 00:40:35,441
[SOLO SIGHS]
621
00:40:46,197 --> 00:40:49,189
[PEOPLE CHATTERING]
622
00:40:53,504 --> 00:40:56,496
[PHONE DIALING]
623
00:41:03,915 --> 00:41:05,542
Well, where is she?
624
00:41:05,716 --> 00:41:07,184
[OVER PHONE]
What are you doing to me?
625
00:41:07,351 --> 00:41:08,750
CAXTON:
We're doing all we can.
626
00:41:08,920 --> 00:41:11,412
She's not completely out of it yet.
627
00:41:11,989 --> 00:41:14,754
I don't care what kind of shape she's in.
628
00:41:14,926 --> 00:41:17,918
Just get her over here right now.
629
00:41:18,095 --> 00:41:19,187
[TELEPHONE SLAMS OVER PHONE]
630
00:41:23,501 --> 00:41:27,028
What's the matter, doctor?
You look worried.
631
00:41:27,205 --> 00:41:28,900
That's how it is.
632
00:41:29,073 --> 00:41:32,668
The ignorant Philistine always gets
in the way of the true artist.
633
00:41:33,544 --> 00:41:35,308
Arnold?
634
00:41:37,348 --> 00:41:39,783
Where is she? Why isn't she here?
635
00:41:39,951 --> 00:41:42,147
Steve, she's on her way here
right now, relax.
636
00:41:42,320 --> 00:41:45,688
Arnold, if you don't bring her here,
so help me, I'll kill you.
637
00:41:45,857 --> 00:41:46,847
Now take it easy.
638
00:41:47,024 --> 00:41:49,356
I've never let you down before
not gonna let you down now.
639
00:41:49,527 --> 00:41:53,930
Believe me, she's as anxious to see you
as you are to see her.
640
00:41:57,368 --> 00:42:01,566
Tell me, how is he? The president?
641
00:42:01,739 --> 00:42:03,070
Worried, and so am I.
642
00:42:03,241 --> 00:42:05,505
You said she'd be here, Arnold.
and she isn't here.
643
00:42:05,676 --> 00:42:07,770
She'll be here before you know it.
644
00:42:07,945 --> 00:42:11,711
Now the only thing you've got to worry
about is your acceptance speech, right?
645
00:42:11,883 --> 00:42:13,476
Well, I got two days
to worry about that.
646
00:42:14,719 --> 00:42:19,418
As a matter of fact, Steve.
you've kind of forced my hand on that.
647
00:42:19,590 --> 00:42:22,651
- Hmm?
- It's tonight or never.
648
00:42:22,827 --> 00:42:24,591
Now, you gotta get your thinking cap on.
649
00:42:24,762 --> 00:42:27,629
You know what this thing is crying for?
The old Bryant touch.
650
00:42:27,798 --> 00:42:31,132
Now that's something nobody's get
but you, right, Steve?
651
00:42:31,936 --> 00:42:34,735
SIGNE: Now stop that,
and don't give me any more trouble.
652
00:42:34,906 --> 00:42:37,307
IRINA: Let me go.
SIGNE: Stop it.
653
00:42:37,475 --> 00:42:39,375
Let me go. Aah!
654
00:42:39,544 --> 00:42:40,534
[SIGNE SLAPS WOMAN]
655
00:42:40,711 --> 00:42:42,577
Come along, Mrs. Bryant, sit up.
656
00:42:42,747 --> 00:42:45,808
- Wake up.
- Doctor, I can't handle this woman.
657
00:42:45,983 --> 00:42:48,975
Couldn't I get rid of her?
Get rid of them all?
658
00:42:49,153 --> 00:42:50,746
Later. I'll stay behind...
659
00:42:50,922 --> 00:42:53,482
...and see that they're disposed of
along with the building.
660
00:42:53,658 --> 00:42:54,921
But I need them alive for that.
661
00:42:55,092 --> 00:42:57,356
Hurry up with that dress
and get her over to Fairbanks.
662
00:42:57,862 --> 00:43:01,230
Doctor, merely as a point
of information, uh...
663
00:43:01,399 --> 00:43:04,562
...how do you intend to dispose of us
when the happy hour approaches?
664
00:43:04,735 --> 00:43:06,225
It was your friend's idea.
665
00:43:07,271 --> 00:43:08,636
- Mine?
CAXTON: Yes.
666
00:43:08,806 --> 00:43:12,037
This morning, when you invaded us
disguised as an electrician...
667
00:43:12,209 --> 00:43:15,611
...you stated that the entire place
was riddled with detective wiring.
668
00:43:15,780 --> 00:43:17,270
We might all be electrocuted.
669
00:43:17,448 --> 00:43:19,507
Well, you will be.
670
00:43:21,385 --> 00:43:23,752
You could've come in as a plumber.
671
00:43:29,894 --> 00:43:32,022
Who is that woman?
Why'd you give her my dress?
672
00:43:32,196 --> 00:43:33,857
Shut her up and bring them upstairs.
673
00:43:34,031 --> 00:43:36,693
- Do you have to kill her too?
CAXTON: Unfortunately, yes.
674
00:43:36,867 --> 00:43:41,202
You see, Etienne, Miss Signe, myself
must all seem to perish in the cataclysm...
675
00:43:41,372 --> 00:43:43,466
...about to engulf our little edifice.
676
00:43:43,641 --> 00:43:47,100
And for that, I need three bodies:
two males, one female.
677
00:43:47,578 --> 00:43:49,876
And the young woman
already hereto oblige us.
678
00:43:50,514 --> 00:43:53,108
Believe me, it's purely
a matter of necessity...
679
00:43:53,284 --> 00:43:54,979
...not of any lust for blood.
680
00:43:55,152 --> 00:43:56,620
[TELEPHONE RINGS]
681
00:43:57,555 --> 00:43:59,080
Yes?
682
00:43:59,256 --> 00:44:01,122
Yes, Arnold, everything's in order.
683
00:44:01,659 --> 00:44:04,094
Mrs. Bryant is leaving right now.
684
00:44:04,261 --> 00:44:06,855
Splendid. I'll see you next week.
685
00:44:07,031 --> 00:44:08,624
[SPEAKING IN FRENCH]
686
00:44:11,669 --> 00:44:13,467
Bring them along.
687
00:44:14,538 --> 00:44:16,632
Ladies first.
688
00:44:21,479 --> 00:44:23,311
[ALL GRUNTING]
689
00:44:26,017 --> 00:44:28,509
She's a judo expert.
690
00:44:30,955 --> 00:44:33,356
At least a black belt--
691
00:44:38,529 --> 00:44:39,587
"with clusters.
692
00:44:40,464 --> 00:44:42,626
[CROWD CHEERING]
693
00:44:54,478 --> 00:44:57,004
Come on, all you've gotta do is go out there
and it's in the bag.
694
00:44:57,181 --> 00:45:00,116
I told you, Arnold, I'm not going out there
without seeing my wife.
695
00:45:00,284 --> 00:45:01,376
MAN:
There she is.
696
00:45:05,122 --> 00:45:07,147
Are you satisfied now?
697
00:45:09,193 --> 00:45:10,524
Take him up.
698
00:45:28,279 --> 00:45:29,269
[MOUTHS]
Thank you.
699
00:45:37,621 --> 00:45:41,148
Miranda, listen to me carefully.
700
00:45:41,325 --> 00:45:43,487
Do you hear those cheers?
701
00:45:51,035 --> 00:45:56,565
They're for the future president
of the United States, your husband.
702
00:45:56,907 --> 00:46:00,935
I want you to go out there
and give him a big kiss.
703
00:46:01,112 --> 00:46:04,138
Remember,
this is his moment of triumph.
704
00:46:04,315 --> 00:46:08,183
Wave, smile to the crowd.
Do you understand?
705
00:46:09,420 --> 00:46:11,946
- Don't worry, Arnold, I know what to do.
- That's the girl.
706
00:46:12,123 --> 00:46:13,887
Don't enjoy it too much, Fairbanks.
707
00:46:15,359 --> 00:46:17,418
Do you see those men?
708
00:46:17,795 --> 00:46:19,126
They want to kill your husband.
709
00:46:21,432 --> 00:46:22,729
- Shoot them.
- Hmm?
710
00:46:22,900 --> 00:46:23,890
Shoot them!
711
00:46:24,068 --> 00:46:25,365
[GUNSHOT]
712
00:46:31,008 --> 00:46:33,409
They're waiting for you, Mrs. Bryant.
713
00:46:40,417 --> 00:46:41,782
[MOUTHS]
Thank you.
714
00:46:53,430 --> 00:46:55,023
Miranda was...
715
00:46:55,199 --> 00:46:57,463
Was programmed to...
716
00:46:57,635 --> 00:47:01,299
To obey all my commands.
717
00:47:01,472 --> 00:47:03,304
“Was," Arnold.
718
00:47:03,808 --> 00:47:06,334
We deprogrammed her.
719
00:47:06,644 --> 00:47:09,113
Triexel phermate.
720
00:47:11,115 --> 00:47:13,083
Miranda, is it really you?
721
00:47:13,250 --> 00:47:16,242
[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]
722
00:47:19,056 --> 00:47:20,888
It is you.
723
00:47:51,922 --> 00:47:54,721
IRINA:
So you cats finally made it.
724
00:47:55,659 --> 00:47:56,649
Ah. Huh.
725
00:47:59,430 --> 00:48:00,955
Like, I'm grateful.
726
00:48:01,131 --> 00:48:05,398
I mean, all those years teaching judo
to these chicks in the Big Sur.
727
00:48:05,569 --> 00:48:07,264
I finally made the big scene.
728
00:48:07,438 --> 00:48:08,633
I owe it all to you.
729
00:48:09,607 --> 00:48:11,632
- Uh, us?
IRINA: Yeah.
730
00:48:11,809 --> 00:48:13,368
I thought we were in your debt?
731
00:48:13,544 --> 00:48:14,875
Oh, no, man, you don't understand.
732
00:48:15,045 --> 00:48:17,377
It's because of you
that I got the bread for this.
733
00:48:17,548 --> 00:48:21,212
Your report of the young lady's help
the other night so intrigued me...
734
00:48:21,819 --> 00:48:24,345
...I felt we owed her a reciprocal favor.
735
00:48:24,521 --> 00:48:25,511
[IRINA CHUCKLES]
736
00:48:25,689 --> 00:48:29,353
This cool cat son of bought
a couple of lifetime memberships...
737
00:48:29,526 --> 00:48:31,893
...and with the bread,
I built me this castle.
738
00:48:32,563 --> 00:48:36,124
Well, it's a most impressive, uh, bakery.
739
00:48:36,300 --> 00:48:38,166
Lifetime memberships for you, sir?
740
00:48:38,335 --> 00:48:39,803
Oh, goodness no. No, no.
741
00:48:39,970 --> 00:48:41,233
For you two, naturally.
742
00:48:42,406 --> 00:48:44,272
Oh, well, thank you, uh...
743
00:48:44,441 --> 00:48:46,307
Not at all, not at all.
744
00:48:46,477 --> 00:48:48,571
My pleasure, gentlemen.
745
00:48:49,079 --> 00:48:50,069
[SPEAKING IN JAPANESE]
746
00:49:59,516 --> 00:50:01,507
[ENGLISH SDH]